never play flip cup with pint glasses
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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