physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
