I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
