come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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