I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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