You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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