Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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