I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
