tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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