'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
