worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
