Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
