You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
