I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
