I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
