dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize