I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
