my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
