some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
