whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
