Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
