Small penises have feelings too.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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