Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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