i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
