but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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