oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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