the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
