the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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