I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
