We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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