We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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