why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Green mimosas i think yes
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
