im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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