She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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