Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
