Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
