this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
