hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
