there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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