no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
