whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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