His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize