ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
