worst night to have a conscience
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
is that a dick in a sweater?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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