grandma shit on top of the toilet
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
