the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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