there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
