This girl is more easily done than said...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
