so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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