**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
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my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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