We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
