So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
