I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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