windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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