oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
