when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
love makes seman taste better
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
