i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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