I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
