my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
