Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
