HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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