You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My hand turned me down
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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