What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
