I smell stomach acid.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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