I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
