My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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