I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize